Scary Man Beast Epiphanies...Part the Second: Survival of the Fittest

So yesterday, after 8+ hours of running around with the kiddies in the bright spring sun, playing hours of tag and dodge-ball, climbing trees with them, teaching them exercises and Indian wrestling, and picking up broken paving stones and smashed glass from the playground, I hit the pool on my way home.

Now, maybe it was low blood sugar, maybe it was mild sun-stroke (it was warm, not hot, but I was out in the sun for nearly the entirety of the day), and it definitely had something to do with my stupid self-esteem, but as I floated in the pool, every time one of those guys walked/swam/strutted past, I was nigh-overwhelmed by jealous rage.

I mean, its easy to see the advantages looking like that grants. You'll get more sex, for starters. But you'll also be more likely to be hired for the better paying jobs, get better service in the shops, and generally be treated with more respect. You'll be less likely to fall victim to a violent crime (because you look strong and hence not easy pickings), and more likely to be given the benefit of doubt when you get in trouble, 'cause you don't look like a "bad person" oughta look.

It dawned on me at the pool today, however, that the V-shaped sixpack body is, like the silk tie and pressed suit, the Rolex, and the huge luxury SUV, just another of our fucked up society's status symbols.

Its a status symbol that's been with us for a long long time at that. The recent fetishization of abs is just part of an on-going cycle that's been around since civilization raised its snobby head in the Med.

Let's face it, rock-hard rippling stomach muscles are all well and good, but they don't occur that often in nature. When we westerners picture a "noble savage" the "natural" physically perfect man, we tend to mentally form them too look like a Greco-Roman statue. But people living aboriginal lives rarely have wash-board stomachs. Neither do people who do real labor for a living. Peasant farmers are rarely seen sporting abs of steel, neither are African tribesmen, South American Natives, etc. The reason is simple. For the most part, we don't use our abs that much when working, gathering, or hunting. In fact, as I mentally went through a catalogue of physical activities that require super-abs, the only ones I could come up (other than throwing spears) with were related to sports, if not specifically designed to shape abs.

Think about it, whens the last time your abs were sore after gardening? Building a house? Carrying heavy things?

The whole flat-belly washboard thing is a symptom of elitism. Ancient Greek and Roman ruling class men, when not busy expanding the empire or buggering pre-pubescents, would spend hours on hours in gymnasia, sculpting themselves into physical perfection. It was a symbol of their power; physical, political, and economic.

Of course today, its not just the ruling elite that's expected to look like Greek Gods. Nope, now we're all "equal", we gots us some demockcrazy. We got TV and movies and magazines. So now, everyone is supposed to look like Brad fucking Pit. To look like anything else is a personal failure, a sign that one is indulgent, weak-willed, flawed, and lazy. So the lucky few with the genetic disposition, the spare time (which is expensive these days), and the money, to achieve Greek-God-hood are elevated above the rest of us unwashed masses, and get to be a new sort of ruling class.

You could even argue that, from a ethnographic and sociological point of view, the fetishization of physical perfection and prowess increases in direct proportion to the amount of hierarchical control in a given society. So a relatively anarchistic collection of tribesmen will tend to be less concerned about having perfect abs and rippling muscles, whereas a group of goose-stepping Nazi fucks, much like their fascist fore-fathers the Romans, will be obsessed with being physically "perfect" .

So what does that say about our society and its fascination with the physique?

Point to ponder that...

Fuck it. Just makes me tired...