Drunk Blog #Whatever

So today started and ended well.

Tonight started well and ended with me forcing myself not to scream or pick a fight or burn something to the fucking ground.

I mean, fine, call me hypersensitive, but does no one else see this shit?

Does no one else care?

I had managed to swallow my bile about the 8 or 9 fuckin' swastikas with Ísland fýrir íslendingar scribbled underneath them I encountered while beggin' for craft supplies in the commercial center near my work. Fine, so you're an ignorant teen with a permanent marker. I'll try my best to overlook it. Although, considering all the swastikas that have been chalked, inked, and painted around the school, not to mention the number of times I've been insulted for not speaking perfect Icelandic at work, I shouldn't be surprised....

And fine, I'll suffer the snideness of young men, clothed in the privilege of white hetero youth, who go to gay bars and try to cage drinks off of all the men who "so obviously want me" all the while mocking the men who hit on them and tryinging to leap-frog over the money/beer conondrun Icleand creates.

But what really hit home in the most visceral sense was seeing that fucking pick-up. Bright red Ford, cruising downtown with a big ol' confederate flag on the back.

I fucking hate that flag.

People who displayed that flag were the same people who harrased and bullied my adopted cousins all through school. They're the people who threatened my life and the life of my family in high school. They're the people who beat me up, who trashed and wrote "Die Fag" on my locker. They're the people who threw bottles at me and my freinds in the park. The people who pulled me over with badges and guns and flashing lights to enquire if I was "from around here" ten miles outside of the only home I had ever known.

And I'm not even from the South.

And now this stupid symbol has followed me all the way to Iceland. When I lost it and yelled at the guy in the truck, he and his buddy seemed suprised. They just thought it made the truck look cool and "Amercan".

How sadly true.

I'm just sick of it. Sick of living a life of under-paid and worse yet, under appreciated work. Sick of knowing that in all likelyhood, it will cost me a small fortune in fees, lawyers and advice to even apply for Icelandic citizenship, especially since the only guaranteed way to get that sought-after state is to be pretty and smart and fuck the son of a minister of something or other.

more later...am too tired now....